As far as relationships are concerned, I am pretty old-school. When I get into one, I sincerely hope that it lasts forever. However, in general, most of the plans we make tend to go in vain. Circumstances change and so do people.
I have been with many girls. However, I have been in love only once in my life. Needless to say, the relationship met its fateful end. The girl kept breaking up with me and coming back repeatedly. I could not trust her anymore. After a point, when I found myself mentally and emotionally drained, I told her that we were better off without each other. Although it shattered me, it was the best thing to do.
I was in another relationship after that and it lasted for two memorable years. We spent most of our free time together, had great fun and were loyal to each other. The only reason we had to break up was that I had to leave the country. If I had stayed, I think we would have gone a long way. However, I suppose it was not meant to be. Also, this was my most recent relationship.
I later decided to take a break from relationships and focus on my career. Besides, most of the girls I came across seemed shallow and pretentious. Of course, genuine people do exist. However, they are apparently very hard to find. Therefore, I have stopped looking. I said to myself (like a boss) –
I am done looking for love. Let love find me!
Have I lost faith in love? No, I still believe in it, but have I lost faith in people? Sadly, yes. I feel that most people are not capable of loving truly and sincerely anymore. People seem superficial and selfish. I can only hope that love finds me soon enough. I was watching the movie, Anchorman: The Legend Continues, in which Will Ferrell’s character, in a forlorn tone, says –
I haven’t felt the loving embrace of a human being in over three months.
– Ron Burgandy
Only I haven’t felt a ‘loving embrace’ in over two years! A friend told me that this might be the reason why I am losing my mind. He also added that abstinence causes all kinds of cancer. I, however, chose not to take him seriously since he is only a dentist. I want a girl who has the will and courage to nurture a relationship. One-night stands and flings are ideologies that my principles do not approve of. Yes, very old-school.
To say that my life is weird would be an understatement. It seems as if I’ve been banished to the land of the weird. Most of the things that people say either irritate me or make no sense. Recently, a girl, I cared for just as a friend, randomly told me –
I can only be friends with you. All I can offer is friendship. That’s it.
Now, that is sad and hilarious at the same time. I actually got ‘friendzoned’ by a girl whom I just considered a dear friend. My only fault was that I was affectionate and caring towards her. Bummer! Who thought being friendzoned by a girl who was never a love-interest in the first place could hurt? This incident made me feel so many emotions simultaneously that I actually created a bar chart. Yes, seriously.
I expressed my disappointment and told her that not every guy who is nice to her is trying to be her man. Although she later apologized and seemed genuinely sorry, I doubt it will be the same. Call me sensitive if you will, but it’s just weird and awkward now. Perhaps, I’ll be able to get over it and joke about it later, but only time will tell.
Such weird encounters make me want to take a break from people. I would rather spend time with close friends who understand me. And when I’m not doing that, there are so many productive activities I could concentrate on. Like work-related research, getting better at the guitar, working out and so on.
But yes, when love does find me, I will be ready.